Day 12. The most kinky and terrifying tea you could imagine….

Okay. 

No precursor or clever lead in here.  I just have to spit it out. 

I was terribly excited to see what this present was, I can’t lie. Especially since I couldn’t get Matt to tell me a thing about it. I think he said it was one he was excited for – – and he couldn’t wait to see what I thought. 

Ladies and gentlemen, that is a scary thought. Those of you who know Matt, will understand. Those who don’t…. he’s evil, cunning, and conniving. Be afraid. 

Hurriedly, I opened it, and when I saw what was inside, I about died on the spot. 

For a second, I was really afraid of what it was.  

See…. there’s this book he’d been threatening to buy for me. Literally every time we walk through Target, we see this trilogy staring back at us.  He almost bought it, on more than one occasion. Despite my threats to burn it if it ever happened. 

Any idea? 

Image

 

NOO!!!!

I’ve read some of it.  A friend was reading the trilogy, and sent me a link to read online. I never even made it to any of the ‘bad’ (fun, depending on the person)  parts. It was horrible.  I’d rather watch hours on end of Barney. Teletubbies, even.

  If you don’t believe me, and want to read it for yourself….. go here: http://fiftyshadesofgreyread.blogspot.com/

Just a heads up:  (And FYI, if anyone has rape issues, stalker issues….. I’d stay away. There are probably triggers there. I didn’t read far enough to know for sure…) 

First and foremost, the writing itself, is awful.  For those of you who DON’T know.. it started off as a Twilight fan fiction story.  (Go to Wikipedia. It has her ff.net username and everything.  How THAT got made into a book, and published, I have no idea.   Also, horrid writing and grammar aside… all the BDSM information, is incorrect/ inaccurate.  

Granted, I only know what I’ve seen online.  But, I’ve read arguments from people who very much are for that lifestyle, but they tear apart the book because it not only incorrectly portrays it, but romanticizes unsafe/possibly immoral practices of it.  I don’t know all the details, but Google is thy friend. 🙂

Not to mention, the dude LOJACKS her car. Or something. Before they’ve even played with the idea of being involved? Seriously?! Creep city.  She should have ran FAR FAR away. Ugh.

 

It gets more terrifying.

 

No, really. It does. Stay with me here….

 

Ready??

THERE”S A PARTY GAME. HOW THE CRAP DO YOU HAVE A 50 SHADES OF GREY PARTY GAME?!

No.

No, don’t tell me. Really, please. Don’t!!!!!

 

Thankfully…. that’s not what I got.  (Otherwise, I might have chunked it. )   Instead…. I see this in the box.

Image

I laughed so hard I about fell out of my chair.  For the longest time, I didn’t know an actual parody existed. I had seen the cover on Tumblr… but I thought that’s all it was. Not an actual written book.

Flipping open the book, I read a bit. 

Yup. Pretty much word for word like the real book.  Only…. written MUCH better, and…. oddly enough not AS sappy as the real book. I don’t know how that works… but trust me here. 

There’s… not much else I can say. I have NOT read it yet, except for that first bit.    Here’s a review, in case anyone’s curious.  http://blogcritics.org/books/article/book-review-fifty-shames-of-earl1/

I do think I’ll read it. If nothing else than to laugh, and see how much of a parody it is. I may regret the decision…. we’ll see. 

If it ends up being horrifying, the plan is — and I’ve already notified my husband of this — it’ll become family storytime, and I’ll be subjecting him to the horror that is BDSM teatime….. 

I’ll be sure to let you all know how that one goes.   If his ears start bleeding, or if I claw my own eyes out first……

(Anyone read this book? And if I offended anyone who actually likes the real book… I am sorry. But I honestly couldn’t stand it!) 

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